Suicide is a serious thought as of now...?

I know you said that the therapy didn't help. my sister is taking these pills to deal with her depression, but I am unsure as to whether you have depression or just have a lot of bad luck. I am the same way. I have failed at everything I have tried. I have a friend who talks of only herself and thinks she has a horrible life because she is smart, almost has a boyfriend, is good at swimming, and never shuts up. Right now killing yourself might seem like the only option. Believe me i think of it often too. But there is always something that comes along that makes me not want to do it. It probably helps that I am also afraid to do it. It sounds like you are faithful to God and whatever religion you practice. I suggest you get a pet. I have two cats and whenever I am upset they make me feel better because they just seem to understand. Not only that it will give you something to live for. Just don't kill yourself. Most people who do regret it after they have already started. Good luck and I wish you well!