Am I losing touch with reality?

Im 20 years old, get tired of people so easily which makes it difficult to have friendships, not to mention Its really hard to trust people. I feel really hyper a lot of the times like im a caged animal. I think way to much and it sometimes gets the best of me, lately I havent been able to ociate with people because they scare me for some odd reason. Sometimes I feel like life is a "dream" and if its not worth living. I love learning though, its a really beautiful thing. I love art, nature, riding my bike for miles in the summer, It helps me cope with life I guess. I hate my job because people are really judgmental on my appearance. When I showed my inner emotions I was sort of "scolded" and now I dont want to open up to anybody for fear that I'll be ridiculed. I would love to live far far away from the city with just me and my music and someone to share that with. But im scared, scared of life and its unknowing consequences. I live in fear and regrets which tear me apart everyday. If you gave me one look I'm sure you would never think this about me, but as we all know looks are deceiving. I cant find anyone in this god forsaken state that likes the music I like or can appreciate the little things in life like I do. Everything moves so fast and its overwhelming. The other day I thought to myself... If the pills were right in front of me I would get my accounts in order and commit suicide, just because I feel very unwanted and useless. The funny thing is I wouldn't want to shoot myself, or cut myself, I'd want a death less dramatic. I would say my past haunts me and I'm not sure I could ever let it go. I know there are going to be people who say some very nasty things for comments, but I ask you to ask yourself what would you do if you were in my position, could you even see yourself in my position. To feel like a caged animal, deprived of so many childhood and adulthood dreams because of what the government says you are. Could you even imagine the injustice that is happening not only to me but to people all around the world. My issues are definitely not on any level to compare to those of tortured, slaved, or prostituted/trafficked humans but can you help me in my quest to find out what is wrong with me? Thank You...